Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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