So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
