i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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