READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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