I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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