i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
