can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
