his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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