As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
