This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
