He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
