Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
