its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
