I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
