you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
