Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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