its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
