Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
