I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Who put my cat in the fridge?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
