Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
