life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
