dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
