What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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