God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize