how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
