I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
