Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Don't make out with my wife yet
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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