so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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