Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
But break dance skills will only take you so far
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
