i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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