Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
me + whiskey = a bad person
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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