exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
