I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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