No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
