he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
