I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
