Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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