Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
