I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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