The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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