at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My breasts were aching with rage.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
