Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
