I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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