oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
