so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
