I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
