Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
