So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
