singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
