1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize