We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
