OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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