He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
