what if every blade of grass was a penis?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
