My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
