We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
