how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
