haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
not ubering you a puppy
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