You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Dignity is for republicans.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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