You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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