There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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